After struggling with years of severe depression, Mark has decided that today is the day to end his misery. There seems to be no moral or spiritual philosophy that can bring about Mark’s salvation and convince him that suicide is not the most pragmatic choice to make. Driven by this cold, hard logic he decides to cut himself off from those around him and end his life, but no matter how he tries to accomplish his task, life frustratingly impedes his goal. Throughout his journey, many would-be saviors attempt to convince him that life does in fact have meaning and is worth living. Can any of them get through to Mark and change his mind?
I began the inevitable process of losing my Christian faith in my late teen years. Soon after this, my lifelong struggle with depression was at its peak. During this suicidal time, I set out on the journey of writing what would become my first feature film, which was later titled All Too Human. Initially, it was an escape wherein I fantasized that I could kill myself with little to no repercussions. It turned out that life wasn’t that simple. I actually had to face some harsh truths about reality that the religion I had been a part of kept from me – there is no cosmic purpose, no metaphysical solution to my material problems, no supernatural entity looking out for me. These insights revealed new opportunities: self-reliance, self-derived meaning and general possibility yet unknown. I also learned just how psychologically destructive the ideology I grew up with really was. The film eventually turned out to be an exploration of how credulity, dogma and religious ideology negatively effect those who suffer from depression, especially as they search for meaning. Overcoming depression and suicidal ideation requires tremendous and arduous work, and being honest about the nature of reality while overcoming these hardships is the focus of my somewhat metaphorical and semiautobiographical film.